Comments on: Don’t be ashamed of being a Muslimah http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/ Contemplations of the life around me Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:41:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: bintsaudia http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-478 bintsaudia Fri, 24 Aug 2007 05:21:07 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-478 salam wa rahmatAllah, ya ukhteey um layth, i guess ur frustation is out of sadness for these girls and their futures, but ur undertone of anger is kind of counterproductive. Only Allah (swt) can judge each girls situation and struggles, and if a girl did go have a baby with her non-muslim boyfriend but repented sincerely, maybe she's a better muslims then all of us put together now, and who are we to say we are to marry off, whatever is her fate is written with Allah (swt). I think the way our communities (the Muslim american communities), judge girls so quickly based on the way the dress and every other outward quality is half of what is driving us nuts! When's the last time u heard a girl's lecture about waking up to pray qiyyamul-layl or tahajjud? But I can recall the last dozen darses I've heard about how to cover, not to go out unecessarily, no makeup, no perfume...is that all girl is good for, taking care of her outward ibadah? Dont get me wrong I wear the hijab and am proud of it, but I wont say that it was easy, wearing it to public high school, or working a retail job in the mall covered, I mean our whole society glorifies the opposite of covering urself, it takes self confidence and assurement to stand opposed to that, and I wouldnt call anyone a whore or anything else that hasnt reached that level yet. Like I could never wear jilbaab and work at the store I work at bc I sell clothes, I need my job, ppl would say I should quit bc I have to wear their clothes or that I cant wear jilbaab, but to me my own struggle is that I wear their clothes in accordance with my hijaab and I feel proud that so many of my customers ask me about Islam, so my hijaab on my fitted jeans may make me "whorish" to you, but to me that's my personal struggle, bc that's the level I'm still at. I feel at least I have the hijab on, instead of just the fitted jeans...Allahu 3lam... salam wa rahmatAllah,
ya ukhteey um layth, i guess ur frustation is out of sadness for these girls and their futures, but ur undertone of anger is kind of counterproductive. Only Allah (swt) can judge each girls situation and struggles, and if a girl did go have a baby with her non-muslim boyfriend but repented sincerely, maybe she’s a better muslims then all of us put together now, and who are we to say we are to marry off, whatever is her fate is written with Allah (swt).
I think the way our communities (the Muslim american communities), judge girls so quickly based on the way the dress and every other outward quality is half of what is driving us nuts! When’s the last time u heard a girl’s lecture about waking up to pray qiyyamul-layl or tahajjud? But I can recall the last dozen darses I’ve heard about how to cover, not to go out unecessarily, no makeup, no perfume…is that all girl is good for, taking care of her outward ibadah?
Dont get me wrong I wear the hijab and am proud of it, but I wont say that it was easy, wearing it to public high school, or working a retail job in the mall covered, I mean our whole society glorifies the opposite of covering urself, it takes self confidence and assurement to stand opposed to that, and I wouldnt call anyone a whore or anything else that hasnt reached that level yet. Like I could never wear jilbaab and work at the store I work at bc I sell clothes, I need my job, ppl would say I should quit bc I have to wear their clothes or that I cant wear jilbaab, but to me my own struggle is that I wear their clothes in accordance with my hijaab and I feel proud that so many of my customers ask me about Islam, so my hijaab on my fitted jeans may make me “whorish” to you, but to me that’s my personal struggle, bc that’s the level I’m still at. I feel at least I have the hijab on, instead of just the fitted jeans…Allahu 3lam…

]]> By: ana http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-297 ana Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:23:48 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-297 Dear Umm Layth, As salaaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. i have done a little concentration on the quote previously mentioned. “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.” i believe that the woman in this quote would be a prostitute. If she is "passing by people SO THAT they can smell her fragrance" it means that she has an intention other than just smelling nice, rather than smelling foul like a lot of people who refuse to bathe properly, put on deodorant, or a mild scent. If her intention is to use the fragrance to attract a male for the purpose of soliciting sexual business then she is either a fornicator, an adulteress or both. but, an adulteress is one who has relations with a married person or she is herself a married person. If a woman goes to the masjid wearing a fragrance and she does not come in contact with any men, is there harm in it? Some women do come to the masjid with heavy scent of musk which is distracting to the prayers. Dear Umm Layth,
As salaaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. i have done a little concentration on the quote previously mentioned. “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.”
i believe that the woman in this quote would be a prostitute. If she is “passing by people SO THAT they can smell her fragrance” it means that she has an intention other than just smelling nice, rather than smelling foul like a lot of people who refuse to bathe properly, put on deodorant, or a mild scent. If her intention is to use the fragrance to attract a male for the purpose of soliciting sexual business then she is either a fornicator, an adulteress or both. but, an adulteress is one who has relations with a married person or she is herself a married person. If a woman goes to the masjid wearing a fragrance and she does not come in contact with any men, is there harm in it? Some women do come to the masjid with heavy scent of musk which is distracting to the prayers.

]]> By: ana http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-296 ana Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:13:31 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-296 Dear Umm Layth, As salaaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I now realize that you were simply venting your displeasure at other muslim women for not living up to a certain standard of display. My apologies if you were upset by my post. What other people choose to wear is their own business. Nobody knows the heart of another person, nor their lives; what makes one person confident and the other person weak; you don't know their experiences nor how it has affected them or what they are going through at the time. i can understand how a faithful person can be displeased by others. But calling other people whores isn't good either. i am curious as to whether this line of thinking is what causes so many so-called muslim brothers to abuse american born muslim women. Can they not forget and forgive them even though Allah has done so? i know sisters who pray all five prayers, fast and cover themselves and are still disrespected by their foreign born so-called muslim husbands. but, more women in that position simply give up and leave it. Now, whose fault is it? funny thing is that i have not heard anyone refer to the former lives of the muslim men as being the whores that they were before they became muslim and some of them continue to live as whores after becoming muslim, but we don't seem to have a word for them, or do we. as far as this quote is concerned “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress,” i didn't note a posted reference to this hadeeth. i don't believe that it is a literal statement as "adulteress" has a definite meaning. Would you say that a young virgin girl who goes out wearing fragrance is an adulteress? Dear Umm Layth,
As salaaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I now realize that you were simply venting your displeasure at other muslim women for not living up to a certain standard of display. My apologies if you were upset by my post.
What other people choose to wear is their own business. Nobody knows the heart of another person, nor their lives; what makes one person confident and the other person weak; you don’t know their experiences nor how it has affected them or what they are going through at the time. i can understand how a faithful person can be displeased by others. But calling other people whores isn’t good either. i am curious as to whether this line of thinking is what causes so many so-called muslim brothers to abuse american born muslim women. Can they not forget and forgive them even though Allah has done so? i know sisters who pray all five prayers, fast and cover themselves and are still disrespected by their foreign born so-called muslim husbands. but, more women in that position simply give up and leave it. Now, whose fault is it?
funny thing is that i have not heard anyone refer to the former lives of the muslim men as being the whores that they were before they became muslim and some of them continue to live as whores after becoming muslim, but we don’t seem to have a word for them, or do we.
as far as this quote is concerned “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress,” i didn’t note a posted reference to this hadeeth. i don’t believe that it is a literal statement as “adulteress” has a definite meaning. Would you say that a young virgin girl who goes out wearing fragrance is an adulteress?

]]> By: Umm Layth http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-295 Umm Layth Fri, 22 Jun 2007 20:40:22 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-295 Aameen Jazaaki Allaahu khairan ukhti wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu Aameen

Jazaaki Allaahu khairan ukhti

wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu

]]> By: muslima-85 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-293 muslima-85 Thu, 21 Jun 2007 20:24:15 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-293 ٍSister Umm Layth, Ameen to your du'a, and no need for apologies ukhti, In Allah ghafoor raheem. I am working on this project fee sabeel Allah, and would love it if you can contribute, athabaki Allah. Your comment above reminded me with the Holy verse: اعْلَمُوا أنَّمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزِينَةٌ وَتَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُمْ وَتَكَاثُرٌ فِي الاَمْوَالِ وَالأَوْلاَدِ كَمَثَلِ غَيْثٍ أَعْجَبَ الْكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُ ثُمَّ يَهِيجُ فَتَرَاهُ مُصْفَراً ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَاماً وَفِي الأَخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ شَدِيدٌ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ مِنَ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانٌ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَآ إِلاَّ مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ * سَابِقُوا إِلَى مَغْفِرَةٍ مِن رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا كَعَرْضِ السَّمَآءِ وَالأَرْضِ اُعِدَّتْ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَرُسُلِهِ ذَلِكَ فَضْلُ اللَّهِ يُؤْتِيهِ مَن يَشَآءُ وَاللَّهُ ذُو الْفَضْلِ الْعَظِيمِ( (الحديد/20-21) ((Know ye that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying in rivalry amoung yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude; how rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight the hearts of the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the hereafter is a penalty severe for the devotees of wrong. And forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure for the devotees of Allah. And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception? * Be ye foremost in seeking forgiveness from your Lord, and a Garden of bliss the width thereof is as the width of Heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allah and His messengers: that is the Grace of Allah, which He bestows on whom He pleases: and Allah is the Lord of Grace abounding)) Surah Al Hadid 57:20-21 May Allah guide us all to al sirat al mustaqeem, ameen. Looking forward to your email sister Umm Layth. As-salamu aleikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatu. ٍSister Umm Layth,

Ameen to your du’a, and no need for apologies ukhti, In Allah ghafoor raheem. I am working on this project fee sabeel Allah, and would love it if you can contribute, athabaki Allah.

Your comment above reminded me with the Holy verse:

اعْلَمُوا أنَّمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزِينَةٌ وَتَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُمْ وَتَكَاثُرٌ فِي الاَمْوَالِ وَالأَوْلاَدِ كَمَثَلِ غَيْثٍ أَعْجَبَ الْكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُ ثُمَّ يَهِيجُ فَتَرَاهُ مُصْفَراً ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَاماً وَفِي الأَخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ شَدِيدٌ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ مِنَ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانٌ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَآ إِلاَّ مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ * سَابِقُوا إِلَى مَغْفِرَةٍ مِن رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا كَعَرْضِ السَّمَآءِ وَالأَرْضِ اُعِدَّتْ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَرُسُلِهِ ذَلِكَ فَضْلُ اللَّهِ يُؤْتِيهِ مَن يَشَآءُ وَاللَّهُ ذُو الْفَضْلِ الْعَظِيمِ( (الحديد/20-21)

((Know ye that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying in rivalry amoung yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude; how rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight the hearts of the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the hereafter is a penalty severe for the devotees of wrong. And forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure for the devotees of Allah. And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception? * Be ye foremost in seeking forgiveness from your Lord, and a Garden of bliss the width thereof is as the width of Heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allah and His messengers: that is the Grace of Allah, which He bestows on whom He pleases: and Allah is the Lord of Grace abounding))

Surah Al Hadid 57:20-21

May Allah guide us all to al sirat al mustaqeem, ameen.

Looking forward to your email sister Umm Layth.

As-salamu aleikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatu.

]]> By: Umm Layth http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-291 Umm Layth Thu, 21 Jun 2007 07:54:16 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-291 wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu Let me first apologize ukhti for still not emailing you. I will email you tomorrow bi’ithnillaah. I’m happy that you went ahead and started your project. I can’t wait to hear more about it. I may stop blogging here for a number of reasons. I think they can be summed up with the following statements of Shaykh `Abd al-Qaadir al-Jilaani, who said: ‘…The fitness of the heart is maintained through pious devotion, absolute trust in Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), the affirmation of His Oneness, and sincerity in practice, while its unsoundness is due to the absence of all this. The heart is a bird in the cage of the physical body, like a pearl in a casket, like money in a safe, so value must be attached to the bird and not to the cage, to the pearl and not to the casket, to the money and not to the safe…. O miserable wretch! Desist from talking about things that bring you no benefit. Give up fanaticism in matters of doctrine, and occupy yourself with something that may be useful to you in this world and the hereafter. You will see your report soon enough, and you will remember my words. In the cut and thrust of the fray, with no helmet on your head, you will see what lasting effects wounds can have. Empty your heart of wordly concerns, because you will soon be taken from this world. Do not go seeking a comfortable lifestyle here, for it will not fall into your hand. As the Prophet (Allaah bless him and give him peace) has said: ‘The way of life is the way of life of the hereafter.’ [al-’aishu ‘aishu’l aakhira] Reduce your expectations now that you are renouncing worldly pleasures, for abstinence is all a matter of reducing expectations. Keep your distance from evil companions…. All good is in His hand. Giving and withholding are in His hand. Wealth and poverty are in His hand. Honor and disgrace are in His hand. No one has anything to match Him. The sensible person is therefore one who sticks to His door, and turns away from anyone else’s door…..’ So, we’ll see. May Allaah open His doors for us, aameen wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu

Let me first apologize ukhti for still not emailing you. I will email you tomorrow bi’ithnillaah. I’m happy that you went ahead and started your project. I can’t wait to hear more about it.

I may stop blogging here for a number of reasons. I think they can be summed up with the following statements of Shaykh `Abd al-Qaadir al-Jilaani, who said:

‘…The fitness of the heart is maintained through pious devotion, absolute trust in Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), the affirmation of His Oneness, and sincerity in practice, while its unsoundness is due to the absence of all this. The heart is a bird in the cage of the physical body, like a pearl in a casket, like money in a safe, so value must be attached to the bird and not to the cage, to the pearl and not to the casket, to the money and not to the safe….

O miserable wretch! Desist from talking about things that bring you no benefit. Give up fanaticism in matters of doctrine, and occupy yourself with something that may be useful to you in this world and the hereafter. You will see your report soon enough, and you will remember my words. In the cut and thrust of the fray, with no helmet on your head, you will see what lasting effects wounds can have. Empty your heart of wordly concerns, because you will soon be taken from this world. Do not go seeking a comfortable lifestyle here, for it will not fall into your hand. As the Prophet (Allaah bless him and give him peace) has said: ‘The way of life is the way of life of the hereafter.’ [al-’aishu ‘aishu’l aakhira]

Reduce your expectations now that you are renouncing worldly pleasures, for abstinence is all a matter of reducing expectations. Keep your distance from evil companions….

All good is in His hand. Giving and withholding are in His hand. Wealth and poverty are in His hand. Honor and disgrace are in His hand. No one has anything to match Him. The sensible person is therefore one who sticks to His door, and turns away from anyone else’s door…..’

So, we’ll see. May Allaah open His doors for us, aameen

]]> By: muslima-85 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-285 muslima-85 Thu, 21 Jun 2007 01:37:15 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-285 Umm Layth, Kheiran In Shaa Allah... why will you stop blogging? I pray to Allah that all is going well with you. At any ways, you are welcome to contribute to the sisters only forum that I'm putting together. Al hamdu le Allah, I started working on it and it should see the light in the very near future. It'll be a forum for muslimas to discuss matters in privacy without worrying about "political correctness" as the other sister pointed out. As-Salamu aleikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatu Umm Layth,

Kheiran In Shaa Allah… why will you stop blogging? I pray to Allah that all is going well with you. At any ways, you are welcome to contribute to the sisters only forum that I’m putting together. Al hamdu le Allah, I started working on it and it should see the light in the very near future. It’ll be a forum for muslimas to discuss matters in privacy without worrying about “political correctness” as the other sister pointed out.

As-Salamu aleikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatu

]]> By: Umm Layth http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-284 Umm Layth Thu, 21 Jun 2007 01:19:29 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-284 I didn't plan on removing it. But my blog may be disappearing soon. I didn’t plan on removing it. But my blog may be disappearing soon.

]]> By: AnonyMouse http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-283 AnonyMouse Wed, 20 Jun 2007 22:33:14 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-283 I totally agree! I've felt like this quite often... But for what the other commentator said, I think one of the problems of blogging is that because it's a public blog and anyone can come read it, you can't just write the way you would in your private journal (i.e. say whatever you want to say even though it's not "politically correct" or whatever). Even so, I say keep this post (in case you were thinking of deleting it), because it's TRUE and some people just need to be spoken to this way because gently advising and reminding them doesn't work. Tough love! I totally agree!
I’ve felt like this quite often…

But for what the other commentator said, I think one of the problems of blogging is that because it’s a public blog and anyone can come read it, you can’t just write the way you would in your private journal (i.e. say whatever you want to say even though it’s not “politically correct” or whatever).
Even so, I say keep this post (in case you were thinking of deleting it), because it’s TRUE and some people just need to be spoken to this way because gently advising and reminding them doesn’t work. Tough love!

]]> By: muwahidah http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/dont-be-ashamed-of-being-a-muslimah/#comment-281 muwahidah Wed, 20 Jun 2007 02:10:10 +0000 http://ummlayth.muslimpad.com/2007/06/18/why/#comment-281 jazakillahu khairan, subhanAllah these people do not know what they are losing while abandoning islam. jazakillahu khairan,

subhanAllah these people do not know what they are losing while abandoning islam.

]]>