Don’t be ashamed of being a Muslimah
Bismillaah
I don’t understand why some of you sisters out there want to be just like the kaafira. Why would you want a life of ignorance when you are blessed with a life of simplicity and goodness? Why would you care what these kuffar women think about you, when it is you that should be thinking how unlucky they are and making du`aa’ for them? Why would you want to listen to the music they listen to when you know it kills their heart? Why would you want to have boyfriends? Why would you want to discard your obligatory garments for trashy things that only prove you are desperate for attention? Why would you want to dress like a whore, smell like a whore, and act like a whore when you know that their life is filthy? Why would you date a kaafir man and get pregnant and then expect Muslims to welcome you with open arms, and expect them to marry you off to a good Muslim man? It’s your own damn fault that you end up in the messes you end up in. Grow up. Be thankful that you have Islam and grab a hold of it. Stop calling yourself a Muslimah if you are going to be ashamed of being one. Because honestly, being a Muslimah is the best thing in the whole wide world. It’s amazing. It’s beautiful. And it’s what makes life worth living.
Ahmed wrote,
Mashallah some very important questions you ask, and some equally important lessons to be learnt from above.
Brothers need also ask some similiar questions to themselves.
Wasalam
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 3:00 am
Niqaabis wrote,
Maa shaa Allaah
Jazaakillaahu khairan ukhtee : )
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 9:16 am
null wrote,
ouch
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Umm Layth wrote,
Ouch indeed. I hated the life I had before I was Muslim and to find other muslims who want that life, just saddens me and pisses me off.
It’s a reminder for brothers too, I hope. But it’s just I’ve been wanting to make a post venting like this for a while and last night I felt like it. May Allaah allow it to penetrate our hearts. aameen
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Shaikh~N~Bake wrote,
As Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh. I forwarded your blog entry to some people on my distribution list. One of the people on my list requested that I share this with you, inshaAllah. BarakAllahu Feeki:
Assalaamu Alaykum,
Interesting article but a bit harsh toward women who are not blessed with Islam. They are not all filthy, tramps. If we view them like that, how can we be successful in dawah. Before my mother became Muslim, she was a sweet, wonderful. loving, caring, charitable Christian.
My mother was 75 when she took Shahadah. She died at the age of 95 on Jummah, during Ramadan on the probable Night of Power. When I took Shahadah, she accepted it without giving me problems. She even bought separate pots to cook food in when I and other Muslims visited, so that we would not have to worry about pork residue. Shortly after, she gave of pork herself even before her Shahadah. She was a good person before she became Muslim. Islam of course made her better.
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
ana wrote,
doesn’t amaze me when I find people who think they have arrived somewhere still using the vocabulary of ignorance while calling other people ignorant. To say that something “pisses me off” is out of the mouth where the language had penetrated the heart and stayed there. Some people perfect their outer garments, but their character receives less attention. Changing the clothes is so much easier for some, and I don’t knock those who find comfort and ease in it; but, allow other people to grow at their own pace, unless you have some constructive method of changing their thinking.
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Umm Layth wrote,
Ana, I’ve not arrived anywhere. This is my blog, where I vent about what I feel. It does piss me off/upset me. It should upset any Muslim. I’m not perfect, but this post was like writing it on a journal. If anyone comes across it, then it was by the Qadr of Allaah. If they are guilty of what is within it, maybe, just maybe, they will be hit by something. If not, it wasn’t meant to be sweet.
Shaikh N Bake…(I think I remember you) Jazaaka Allaahu khairan for sharing their thoughts.
wa `alaykum as salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu
Not every woman who isn’t Muslim is a whore. I never said that. What I said, and was clear, was that there are women out there who behave like non-Muslim women who are whores. Not to mention that in the Sunnah of our Beloved, he tells us to not wear perfume when going out:
“Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.â€
You can take my words literally, our beloveds (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallams) literally or not. But the point is that we are seriously disobeying Allaah and His Messenger. By not obeying Rasulullaah we disobey Allaah. We are in a time where our role models aren’t ‘A’ishah, Maryam, Khadijah, Aasiyah but Nancy Ajram or the girl next door. We crave what they have, but their lives are full of misery. Why would we want a life of sadness, a life that makes no sense and will only destroy us?
I love my sisters in religion, and I wish they would come around. But just keep in mind that I was venting. I had to vent. And I don’t like the attitude of some people, who think that just because you vent about the state of the Ummah, or you advise so and so that you’ve forgotten yourself or think yourself self-righteous. Just because I vent about what I see, hear about on a daily basis doesn’t mean that I ignore myself. Not now would I do that. And hopefully not ever. I realize I can’t offer anything for change if I don’t work on myself. And it is the hardest struggle of all. May Allaah guide us and make us steadfast upon His beautiful deen.
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Umm Layth wrote,
Also, the muslimaat that I speak about here are mostly the young ones I come across. Parents are to blame for how they raised them, what they failed to teach and make them understand in a wise manner, where they put them for school (many times public school where they are faced with peer pressure) and other bad choices that probably led their daughters to such rebellion. Same for the guys, but for some reason girls rebel more. Could it be because they have no choice but to show Islaam on the outside as well?
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
muslima-85 wrote,
Sister Umm Layth,
Jazaki Allahu khairan for this wonderful posting. I wholeheartedly agree with you on everything that you said. I do not understand why muslimas do not take pride in their faith, but even for those who do, sometime they’re faced with strong opposition from their families. With me for example, my family supported my decision to wear the hijab a few years ago. As a muslima, I was proud to wear the Hijab, and even though I live in the US and some of my family members tried to get me to take it off after 9/11, I refused, and continued to wear it proudly. A few months ago, Allah led me to wear the niqab Al Hamdu le Allah. This decision was met with strong opposition from my family, who still do not understand why I chose to do that. Muslimas, follow your faith and be proud of it.
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
muwahidah wrote,
jazakillahu khairan,
subhanAllah these people do not know what they are losing while abandoning islam.
Link | June 19th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
AnonyMouse wrote,
I totally agree!
I’ve felt like this quite often…
But for what the other commentator said, I think one of the problems of blogging is that because it’s a public blog and anyone can come read it, you can’t just write the way you would in your private journal (i.e. say whatever you want to say even though it’s not “politically correct” or whatever).
Even so, I say keep this post (in case you were thinking of deleting it), because it’s TRUE and some people just need to be spoken to this way because gently advising and reminding them doesn’t work. Tough love!
Link | June 20th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Umm Layth wrote,
I didn’t plan on removing it. But my blog may be disappearing soon.
Link | June 20th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
muslima-85 wrote,
Umm Layth,
Kheiran In Shaa Allah… why will you stop blogging? I pray to Allah that all is going well with you. At any ways, you are welcome to contribute to the sisters only forum that I’m putting together. Al hamdu le Allah, I started working on it and it should see the light in the very near future. It’ll be a forum for muslimas to discuss matters in privacy without worrying about “political correctness” as the other sister pointed out.
As-Salamu aleikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatu
Link | June 20th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Umm Layth wrote,
wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu
Let me first apologize ukhti for still not emailing you. I will email you tomorrow bi’ithnillaah. I’m happy that you went ahead and started your project. I can’t wait to hear more about it.
I may stop blogging here for a number of reasons. I think they can be summed up with the following statements of Shaykh `Abd al-Qaadir al-Jilaani, who said:
‘…The fitness of the heart is maintained through pious devotion, absolute trust in Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He), the affirmation of His Oneness, and sincerity in practice, while its unsoundness is due to the absence of all this. The heart is a bird in the cage of the physical body, like a pearl in a casket, like money in a safe, so value must be attached to the bird and not to the cage, to the pearl and not to the casket, to the money and not to the safe….
O miserable wretch! Desist from talking about things that bring you no benefit. Give up fanaticism in matters of doctrine, and occupy yourself with something that may be useful to you in this world and the hereafter. You will see your report soon enough, and you will remember my words. In the cut and thrust of the fray, with no helmet on your head, you will see what lasting effects wounds can have. Empty your heart of wordly concerns, because you will soon be taken from this world. Do not go seeking a comfortable lifestyle here, for it will not fall into your hand. As the Prophet (Allaah bless him and give him peace) has said: ‘The way of life is the way of life of the hereafter.’ [al-’aishu ‘aishu’l aakhira]
Reduce your expectations now that you are renouncing worldly pleasures, for abstinence is all a matter of reducing expectations. Keep your distance from evil companions….
All good is in His hand. Giving and withholding are in His hand. Wealth and poverty are in His hand. Honor and disgrace are in His hand. No one has anything to match Him. The sensible person is therefore one who sticks to His door, and turns away from anyone else’s door…..’
So, we’ll see. May Allaah open His doors for us, aameen
Link | June 21st, 2007 at 2:54 am
muslima-85 wrote,
ÙSister Umm Layth,
Ameen to your du’a, and no need for apologies ukhti, In Allah ghafoor raheem. I am working on this project fee sabeel Allah, and would love it if you can contribute, athabaki Allah.
Your comment above reminded me with the Holy verse:
اعْلَمÙوا أنَّمَا الْØَيَاة٠الدّÙنْيَا لَعÙبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزÙينَةٌ وَتَÙَاخÙرٌ بَيْنَكÙمْ وَتَكَاثÙرٌ ÙÙÙŠ الاَمْوَال٠وَالأَوْلاَد٠كَمَثَل٠غَيْث٠أَعْجَبَ الْكÙÙَّارَ نَبَاتÙÙ‡Ù Ø«Ùمَّ ÙŠÙŽÙ‡Ùيج٠Ùَتَرَاه٠مÙصْÙَراً Ø«Ùمَّ ÙŠÙŽÙƒÙون٠ØÙطَاماً ÙˆÙŽÙÙÙŠ الأَخÙرَة٠عَذَابٌ شَدÙيدٌ وَمَغْÙÙرَةٌ Ù…ÙÙ†ÙŽ اللَّه٠وَرÙضْوَانٌ وَمَا الْØَيَاة٠الدّÙنْيَآ Ø¥Ùلاَّ مَتَاع٠الْغÙرÙور٠* سَابÙÙ‚Ùوا Ø¥ÙÙ„ÙŽÙ‰ مَغْÙÙرَة٠مÙÙ† رَبّÙÙƒÙمْ وَجَنَّة٠عَرْضÙهَا كَعَرْض٠السَّمَآء٠وَالأَرْض٠اÙعÙدَّتْ Ù„ÙلَّذÙينَ ءَامَنÙوا بÙاللَّه٠وَرÙسÙÙ„ÙÙ‡Ù Ø°ÙŽÙ„ÙÙƒÙŽ Ùَضْل٠اللَّه٠يÙؤْتÙيه٠مَن يَشَآء٠وَاللَّه٠ذÙÙˆ الْÙَضْل٠الْعَظÙيمÙ( (الØديد/20-21)
((Know ye that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying in rivalry amoung yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude; how rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight the hearts of the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the hereafter is a penalty severe for the devotees of wrong. And forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure for the devotees of Allah. And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception? * Be ye foremost in seeking forgiveness from your Lord, and a Garden of bliss the width thereof is as the width of Heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allah and His messengers: that is the Grace of Allah, which He bestows on whom He pleases: and Allah is the Lord of Grace abounding))
Surah Al Hadid 57:20-21
May Allah guide us all to al sirat al mustaqeem, ameen.
Looking forward to your email sister Umm Layth.
As-salamu aleikom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatu.
Link | June 21st, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Umm Layth wrote,
Aameen
Jazaaki Allaahu khairan ukhti
wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu
Link | June 22nd, 2007 at 3:40 pm
ana wrote,
Dear Umm Layth,
As salaaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I now realize that you were simply venting your displeasure at other muslim women for not living up to a certain standard of display. My apologies if you were upset by my post.
What other people choose to wear is their own business. Nobody knows the heart of another person, nor their lives; what makes one person confident and the other person weak; you don’t know their experiences nor how it has affected them or what they are going through at the time. i can understand how a faithful person can be displeased by others. But calling other people whores isn’t good either. i am curious as to whether this line of thinking is what causes so many so-called muslim brothers to abuse american born muslim women. Can they not forget and forgive them even though Allah has done so? i know sisters who pray all five prayers, fast and cover themselves and are still disrespected by their foreign born so-called muslim husbands. but, more women in that position simply give up and leave it. Now, whose fault is it?
funny thing is that i have not heard anyone refer to the former lives of the muslim men as being the whores that they were before they became muslim and some of them continue to live as whores after becoming muslim, but we don’t seem to have a word for them, or do we.
as far as this quote is concerned “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress,†i didn’t note a posted reference to this hadeeth. i don’t believe that it is a literal statement as “adulteress” has a definite meaning. Would you say that a young virgin girl who goes out wearing fragrance is an adulteress?
Link | June 22nd, 2007 at 8:13 pm
ana wrote,
Dear Umm Layth,
As salaaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. i have done a little concentration on the quote previously mentioned. “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.â€
i believe that the woman in this quote would be a prostitute. If she is “passing by people SO THAT they can smell her fragrance” it means that she has an intention other than just smelling nice, rather than smelling foul like a lot of people who refuse to bathe properly, put on deodorant, or a mild scent. If her intention is to use the fragrance to attract a male for the purpose of soliciting sexual business then she is either a fornicator, an adulteress or both. but, an adulteress is one who has relations with a married person or she is herself a married person. If a woman goes to the masjid wearing a fragrance and she does not come in contact with any men, is there harm in it? Some women do come to the masjid with heavy scent of musk which is distracting to the prayers.
Link | June 22nd, 2007 at 8:23 pm
bintsaudia wrote,
salam wa rahmatAllah,
ya ukhteey um layth, i guess ur frustation is out of sadness for these girls and their futures, but ur undertone of anger is kind of counterproductive. Only Allah (swt) can judge each girls situation and struggles, and if a girl did go have a baby with her non-muslim boyfriend but repented sincerely, maybe she’s a better muslims then all of us put together now, and who are we to say we are to marry off, whatever is her fate is written with Allah (swt).
I think the way our communities (the Muslim american communities), judge girls so quickly based on the way the dress and every other outward quality is half of what is driving us nuts! When’s the last time u heard a girl’s lecture about waking up to pray qiyyamul-layl or tahajjud? But I can recall the last dozen darses I’ve heard about how to cover, not to go out unecessarily, no makeup, no perfume…is that all girl is good for, taking care of her outward ibadah?
Dont get me wrong I wear the hijab and am proud of it, but I wont say that it was easy, wearing it to public high school, or working a retail job in the mall covered, I mean our whole society glorifies the opposite of covering urself, it takes self confidence and assurement to stand opposed to that, and I wouldnt call anyone a whore or anything else that hasnt reached that level yet. Like I could never wear jilbaab and work at the store I work at bc I sell clothes, I need my job, ppl would say I should quit bc I have to wear their clothes or that I cant wear jilbaab, but to me my own struggle is that I wear their clothes in accordance with my hijaab and I feel proud that so many of my customers ask me about Islam, so my hijaab on my fitted jeans may make me “whorish” to you, but to me that’s my personal struggle, bc that’s the level I’m still at. I feel at least I have the hijab on, instead of just the fitted jeans…Allahu 3lam…
Link | August 24th, 2007 at 12:21 am