Do you ever feel…?
…out of place? Like you don’t belong in a certain environment and feel like an outcast in a place where you would think you should be feeling the most comfortable?
Do you ever feel that at the hardest times when you want to offer some kind of support, you suddenly become the problem? Kind of like, you want to help that certain someone facing a hardship because of the strong friendship you believe you have but instead you are the one they push away the most for some reason that you may be unaware of?
And doesn’t the feeling just hurt? It makes me wonder… if you can’t be there with that dear friend to help them through the hardest time, but can be with them during ease without any problems, is your friendship as strong as you thought? And who is to blame? The one trying to help their friend or the one pushing their friend away?
And do you ever feel like your past haunts you? A past that didn’t seem like a big deal because you were in the process of learning patience and how to properly handle those situations but has now become the reflection you see everytime something from that past comes near? Sigh.
Umm Khawla wrote,
I feel out of place almost every time I step out of the house. The only place where I feel at ease is my house, my room.
As for the bit about being there for your friend.. sometimes ukhtee, its not really fault, its not a flaw in us that turns them away from us. Sometimes in sorrow, some people prefer to be alone and not have anyone around.. not even their best friends. Don’t blame yourself for it : ) The best gift and comfort you can give your friend is du`aa behind their back.
And the past, it will always catch up with you. Every once in a while we’re faced with a situation which reminds us of a troubling past but it happens for a reason. I believe it is to teach us a lesson, so we can derive some benefit from it.. comparing the past with present also helps.
But one amazing blessing we have as human beings is that we don’t remember everything. Man is forgetful. That’s how Allaah created us. There’s so much wisdom in that subhaan’Allaah. Imagine if we were to remember every bit of our past, we’d be wallowing in pain and bordering on insanity.
Love you sis.
wassalaamu`alaykum wa rahmatullaah.
Link | February 21st, 2007 at 1:39 am
Umm Layth wrote,
wa `alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu,
You know, them wanting to be alone is always the response I get but sometimes it is hard to understand that because I myself would want them there.
It is just really hard to deal with a past, when people it seems don’t know how to forgive and forget. It makes it even harder when you feel that you deserve an apology as well. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to face my problems but I know the hardest part is facing them with humility and not expecting anything in return.
Anyways ukhti, I really appreciate your words. May Allaah love you and your family, aameen
xoxo
Link | February 23rd, 2007 at 3:54 pm